Hellraiser: The Humor Drabbles
by IzzyandDesRoxSox
Summary: Hilarious OOC drabbles we all know would never happen...right? #7: Our Cenobites have taken up to Kirsty's offer and go to the beach. WARNING: Includes Pinhead's out of style-swim-suit, Butterball's inability to swim, unexpected proposal, drunk Pistonhead
1. Disastrous Birthdays

Hellraiser: The Humor Drabbles

_**Fun-shots made for...well...fun! The sweet, OOC, fluffy, adorable, humorous kind we all know would never happen in Labyrnith. Or...would they?**_

_**DISCLAIMER: YES-**__**I have magically switched genders and transformed into the new identity of Clive Barker I indeed own Hellraiser. Psh. Yeah, right. If that were true- The Cenobites would've never died in HR2 (or at least put up a better fight against Channard), none of the shitty sequels after HR3 would happen, Pinhead and Kirsty would've hooked up already, and at least say whatever happened to poor Tiffany whom just disappears after HR2 and ceases to exist in any of the other movies.**_

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><p><em>#1: It's Pinhead's 'birthday'. His three adorable henchmen have decided to throw him a birthday party. It doesn't end well.<em>

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><p>"There better be a proper explanation as to why you three have had me in basic terms as bound and gagged." Pinhead growled, losing his patience slowly as he was made blindfolded and lead through to some unknown place. There were several suspicious sounds heard, including several harsh hushes from the others to keep quiet, and a noise as though they had just transported to some unknown place.<p>

The three leading him to the mysterious place, were none other than his three henchmen, Butterball, Chatterer, and Female. Sweet as they could be sometimes, Pinhead was growing increasingly annoyed as they refused to tell him where they were heading when finally, they had him stop in place.

"Okay...and now...open!" Female grinned, as Butterball took of his blindfold, and Pinhead blinked his coal black eyes at the new environment- or rather familiar one, that lay in front of him.

His hometown.

"Wha..what in the name of Leviathan are we doing here?" he questioned slowly and softly, as Chatterer made something of a mischievious grin.

_'Well...we figured that for your birthday we'd do something extremely special.' _the young Cenobite explained mentally to his Master, the abiltity he recently learned to master so he could communicate to the others.

"By returning me to a place of where only human memories lie?" Pinhead asked, still a bit confused as it was Butterball's turn to grin.

"A little something more special than that...you might wanna take a few hundred yards steps away." the heavy Cenobite giddily said, still confusing his Master as the four Cenobite (well three more or less with Pinhead just being forced to move) suddenly backed away quickly, almost as though in rather a precaution.

"Will you fools just tell me what is going-"

**BOOM!**

All of a sudden, all of the whole hometown suddenly exploded, almost as though someone had dropped bombs, and was immediately engulfed in deadly flames.

"Happy Birthday!" Female and Butterball chimed in at the same time, with Chatterer saying as well as the same time only mentally.

"OH MY LEVIATHAN WHAT HAVE YOU THREE DONE?" Pinhead shrieked, jaw dropped in horror at the sight of this.

"What do you mean? I thought you said you despised your hometown?" Female said, cocking her head to one side and her pale blue eyes filled with confusion.

"WHAT- I...I...I said I HATE _KIRSTY COTTON'S _HOMETOWN BECAUSE IT'S MADE UP OF 90% OF IDIOTS!" Pinhead screamed, all at the same time waving his arms about in shock.

"You don't hate Kirsty Cotton though, right?" Butterball peeped nervously and curious in hopes of changing the subject.

For the record, when you blow up your Master's hometown, don't expect to change the subject so easily.

Pinhead snapped his head over and gritted his teeth. "No stupid." he growled before continuing on the subject of his exploded hometown.

"Oh my- Nikoletta! What honestly made you think this was a good idea? For a birthday present?" he questioned in disbelief.

The beautiful Cenobite sulked her shoulders, taking a step back towards Chatterer as she then pointed to Butterball. "His idea!" she yelled.

Butterball gasped, as he pointed to Chatterer. "He got the bombs though!"

_"I didn't do anything! The both of you did everything! I was just watching!"_ Chatterer retorted.

Female gasped, staring at Chatterer in mock for accusing her.

_'Erm...I mean not you sweetheart. Just..fatboy did it!"_

Butterball gasped as well, offended and folded his arms.

"Shut up you whiny brat!" he yelled.

"All three of you shut up! I want answers as to why you figured this was a good idea!" Pinhead roared, the loudest of the three and stopping an argument from happening.

"Well maybe it's because of the fact we've all been transformed into hideous, unearthly appearing monster-like demons obseessed in pain and pleasure which is no different than violent S&M sociopathes with a long history of dangerous violence due to being exposed and influenced by you." Female hissed, placing her hands on her hips and glaring.

Pinhead paused, quiet for a moment as he realized that everything she just said was 100% true.

"Oh." was all he could say.

"I do not understand how you keep forgetting that." she continued, almost groaning in frustration.

"Oh I thought it was because we bought him the Ark of Conevant for his surprise gift." Butterball blurted out, making the other two Cenobites face-palm themselves.

Pinhead stared, mortified about the horrible gift from his supposedly 'loyal' henchmen- because with these insane ideas, he figured they were just trying to kil him- or if they were so stupid that they didn't think that would happen.

There was another pause, as Chatterer looked up at the sky and suddenly seemed rather queasy and nervous.

_"Er...well in that case...you're __**really**__ not gonna like your birthday decorations." _he told to Pinhead.

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><p><strong>Wanna know what's in the sky? See 'Llamas with Hats 4' which this is based off of. The idea of the gift being the ark was mine and is not in the flick, but the 'decorations' are. Trust me. It's so messed up and hilarious.<strong>


	2. Interrupted Love

_**#2: **__For one of the things that never happened in Hellraiser 2: Chatterer proposes his undying love to someone special. Too bad the others keep interrupting him..._

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><p>"Ah good. A fight." Channard's voice hissed in pleasure, grinning from ear to ear at the four Cenobites that brvaely stood forth to protect Kirsty Cotton and Tiffany.<p>

Chatterer, whom in particular knew that they were about to have their asses whooped anyways, immediately turned to Female and looked into her lovely pale blue eyes.

_'Don't be afraid.' _he murmured to her.

"I'M TERRIFED!" Butterball weeped, as though he thought Chatterer was talking to him.

Ignoring that, as suddenly a wet spot showed on poor Butterball's pants, the heavy cenobite sulked in shame as Female looked to Chatterer.

"I'm not afraid to die.." she whispered- oh wait. She had a naturally whispery voice due to that whole 'open wound' throat. Oops.

"Fools! We won't die!" Pinhead snapped to the two of them.

"No, you'll only have your asses handed to you on a silver platter." Channard added in, grinning.

"Can I have dessert first though?" Butterball peeped nervously.

An awkward pause set in before Female spoke again.

"I've been dying of love-"

"Not physically or mentally possible." Channard obnoxiously shouted out to her.

Chatterer, whom continued to ignore the others, was rather surprised.

_"I...I thought you said that we should not be together. That it would destroy us."_

Female grinned lightly, opening her mouth to speak as Pinhead started to throw a temper tantrum.

"I wanna profess MY love to Kirsty! SHUT uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!" he whined, stamping his foot.

"You shut up! This is beautiful!" Butterball yelled.

"No you shut up!" Pinhead argued back.

"No YOU!"

"NO you!"

"No YOU"

"NO you!"

"Both of you SHUT UP!" Channard interrupted the both of them as he sniffled and munched down on popcorn.

"I don't think that's healthy for you to do with that tumor in your head." Butterball pointed to the big thing on Channard's head.

"IT'S NOT A TUMOR!" the owner of the Institute whined, groaning annoyed.

"I love you." Female whispered to Chatterer.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Kirsty and Tiffany cooed.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Cooties!" Pinhead whined.

_"Truly...deeply...I do too. Love you...and before we die I want you to know..." _Chatterer whispered back to her, leaning in close.

"We're not gonna die for the millionth time!" Pinhead shouted!

"Yes you ARE!" Channard shouted.

"Nu-huh!"

"Ya-huh!"

"Nu-huh!"

"Ya-huh!"

"SHUT UP!" Channard said, throwing his spear and accidentally hitting our 'star crossed lovers' while they were in a deep, passionate, kiss.

"Eep!" both shrieked, eyes (well, at least Female's existent ones) widened as they both fell to the floor.

Kirsty, Tiffany, Pinhead, and Butterball stared at the two of them, then to one another, and then glared at a blushing Channard.

"Uh...oops." Channard peeped, grinning nervously.

"You BASTARD! I was gonna start humming 'Across the Stars' for them!" Butterball accused, tears in his eyes behind the sunglasses.

"No way! You should hum the most beautiful piece ever, 'My Heart Will Go On'!" Pinhead blurted out loudly as Tiffany snickered.

"You watched _Titanic_?" the blond giggled.

"It can be a manly movie!" Pinhead retorted in defense.

"We...we're okay..." Female moaned painfully and lightly to the others.

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><p><strong>Poor Female and Chatterer. XD Channard really just can't help himself but to ruin romance. XD<strong>

**Their little pronouncatoin of love is based off what is in my opinion the most beautiful stating of undying love from **_**Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones **_**when Padmé says she loves Anakin. *sighs swooned* Love that movie so much. Actually, their love theme **_**is **_**'Across the Stars'- BEAUTIFUL song.**


	3. Sleeping with your Enemy

_**#3:**__ Butterball and Angelique; Always at each others throats, constantly mistaken for lovebirds by humans, and one day wake up to the horror of..._

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><p>Hangovers truly were a pain in the ass- even for a pain and pleasure obsessed cenobite.<p>

Very faint memories were all Butterball could think as he groaned and rubbed his head, trying his best to remember. All he could place together was something about Pistonhead influencing everyone to a drink party, Leviathan drunkily singing some Brittney Spears song- or wait- was it Christina Aguilera? No- Ke$ha?

Oh yeah, and Angelique snuggling up to him in bed as she slept soundly.

Smiling relaxed, he closed his eyes (wait- he's got eyes?) and proceeded to go back to sleep.

Wait.

_ANGELIQUE SNUGGLING UP TO HIM?_

He immediately snapped back awake, and turned to her, gasping in fear, his breathe obnoxious and breathing on her enough to wake up the princess, whom at first had no sort of memory and was unaware that the person she was looking up to was Butterball. Or did she?

"Mmm...morning Butterball." she said snoozily before resting her head back on the pillow.

Wait a minute.

She immediately woke up and stared at him in horror, with the both of them then suddenly screaming like bloody murder.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh...oh my Leviathan!" Angelique shireked, grasping hold of most of the blanket to cover her bare chest.

"Holy shit!" Butterball replied just as loudly, using the rest of the blanket to cover himself at certain areas- wait, pretty much most of himself.

"Did we- did YOU?" both said at the same time, not taking their eyes off one another in horror, with Angelique paling and ready to vomit while Butterball was too shocked to say pretty much anything else.

They argued, they were at each other's throats, she insulted him, he told her off once- and then followed a habit of doing so, human cops had once mistaken them for lovebirds, they even annoyed Leviathan with their constant arguing, they were worse than cats and dogs and fire and ice, they even tried to kill one another in a prank war that had resulted in the Labyrnith.

But this- this was true horror. Worse than any pain either experienced when becoming a Cenobite.

"I don't remember! We never speak of this!" both spat to one another, once again at the same time.

"Agreed!" once again they said to one another, awkwardly blushing as they tried to turn their backs and grab their clothes- wherever it may be.

_'Dear Leviathan I slept with THAT?' _both thought bitterly to themselves.

Real quickly, both turned back to stare at one another before snapping their heads back in shuddered in disgust.

_'EW!' _they both thought.

Meanwhile...Pinhead and Pistonhead grinned giddily, for once doing a rare teaming up to pull this together.

"Geez louise this is gonna be some unforgettable shit." the sex addict Cenobite grinned mischieviously to the pin headed one.

"Certainly agreed. Upon learning that Butterball was the true one responsible for my birthday event, this is his pnihsmnet of embarassment." Pinhead nodded.

"And why Angelique?" Pistonhead asked, whom despite being basically Dreamer's consort, still found Angelique hot- or at least that being the most appropriate word from him when it came to thoughts about the princess or any other woman existing out there.

"She pesters me with her flirting." Pinhead shrugged simply before continuing. "I must thank you for having this arrangement of them in bed together in a false assumation of them interacting ion sexual activity with no memory to it."

Pistonhead pale suddenly and giggled nervously.

"Oh...heh heh. Funny you should mention that..." he began.

Pinhead raised a brow.

"...I thought _you_ put them in bed."

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><p><strong>:O XD XD XD XD XD Angelique and Butterball slept with each other! XD In 'Hell of Rock' they do indeed argue constantly and are mistaken for lovebirds. I thought about it, and from the way I potray them in my fic, they look kinda cute to be a couple- almost like the Seddie kind of couple. But canon-wise? NO. That's not right...<strong>


	4. Human Angst

_**#4**__: 'Human Angst'...Turns out Kirsty has some of that as she makes an interesting admit to the Cenobites. Maybe should kinda explain as to why she disappears until the sixth movie..._

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><p><em><strong>(Attention: If this should help, watch 'Potter Puppet Pals: Wizard Angst' first before seeing this. This is based off that video.)<strong>_

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><p>Kirsty made certain Tiffany stuck close by to her as they ran down the endless hallways of the Channard Institute, before skidding through one room- which lead to facing right at the Cenobites! The two human girls turned to leave, but the door was teleknitically slammed shut by the grinning Cenobites.<p>

"No more boxes.." Pinhead began, steping forth with the others.

Kirsty growled, styamping her foot and proceeded to throw off an unusual temper tantrum that both the Cenobites and Tiffany had yet to see- it was kinda awkward.

"Augh! I feel cranky and hormonally moody! And now I'm going to take that out on the people that like me! Grrrrrr!" she proclaimed, moving wildly about.

"Kirsty?" Tiffany softly asked, confused by this sudden out-of-characterness as the brunette proceeded to punch a hole through the wall.

"Hey!" Butterball exclaimed.

"Dammit Kirsty we're gonna get lawsuits for causing property damage! And we don't even have any money to pay for that!" Pinhead yelled, annoyed.

"Yeah what the hell's your problem Cotton?" Female demanded, frowning and folding her arms.

Kirsty inhaled a sharp breath, taking a step forward to them and squinted her eyes before snapping:

"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD! MY LIFE SUCKS! EVERY GUY I'VE DATED SO FAR IS A DOUCHE BAG-"

_"Which means your future husband will be the biggest, most unfaithful, backstabbing douche bag of them all." _Chatterer pointed out telepathically.

Kirsty paused, unsure of how to respond at that most likely true fact before continuing.

"Rrrrright...anyways. Oh! AND EVERYWHERE I GO THERE'S ALWAYS THIS F****** HORROR CRAP S*** FOLLOWING ME! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE F***?" the woman continued screaming at the top of her lungs, and when finished left the whole room silent until Tiffany broke the silence.

"But- but- but Kirsty! The horror stuff is a magical part of your destiny with Xi-"

"Shut the hell up Tiffany!" Kirsty snapped, interrupting Tiffany. The blond whimpered and scurried away to cry in a corner while the Cenobites gawked, heavily surprised by her sudden attitude change.

"That's it! I don't care how hot I think you are, you're very mean! We quit being Cenobites!" Pinhead, really Xipe Totec, proclaimed, making Kirsty and a suddenly returned Tiffany gasp.

"But- but- but- who's gonna f-face Ch-Channard?" Tiffany whimpered as Nikoletta stepped forth with a serious face.

"Alright Tiff, it's all up to you." she explained.

"WHAT?" the blond shrieked as she was then shoved forth to the nearby Channard by Female.

"Go fight him!" Female called out, with the Cenobites and Kirsty watching and staring as Tiffany trembled in front of the sadistically grinning Channard.

"Well hello there little child." he began with a false English accent.

Tiffany's response was a mutter of whimpers.

"You want a piece of me?" Channard inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Tiffany's whimpers became louder, and by then she was shaking in her legs. Finally, she spoke:

"NOOOOO!" she screamed in terror, running straight back and accidentally into the arms of- Pinhead!

"That's what I thought..." Channard muttered.

"I couldn't do it!" Tiffany cried, sobbing on a rather uncomfortable looking Pinhead.

The pin headed Cenobite rubbed Tiffany's back lightly as he stood there with an awkward face.

"Erm yes uh...there...there...you did your best..uh...Terri.."

"Tiffany." the blond corrected.

"Whatever." was Pinhead's reply as he shoved her off.

"What's up with Cotton?" Nikoletta asked, pointing to a currently-banging-her-head-on-the-wall-Kirsty.

"Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst." Kirsty repeated in mutters.

"I think she's emo." Butterball whispered in theory.

"I think we broke her." Nikoletta said blankly.

_"I think she might've opened the box a tad bit too many times for her to deal with." _Chatterer suggested.

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><p>SEVERAL HOURS LATER...<p>

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><p>"Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst." Kirsty kept on repeating for hours as she was lead away in a straightjacket and taken off to yet <em>another <em>hospital for the crazy people.

The Cenobites, Tiffany, and Channard just all blankly stared as they watched her still mutter that even as the doors closed and the ambulance drove off.

"Damn. How we gonna finish this movie now?" Channard mumbled.

"I wanna go home." Tiffany whined.

"Kirsty mi amor! I promise ther shall be no other in my life as long as I wait for you!" Pinhead called after, when suddenly a beautiful blond reporter walked forth in curious interest.

"Wowee this could make some story.." the reporter, Joey Summerskill, said as she stared down at her notes and suddenly looked up straight as Pinhead and flushed- well, at least the Elliot Spencer part.

"Dear God, why does the human part of me suddenly feel heavy attraction of strong romance and sex to you?" he whispered, blinking.

There was a sudden poof, and the gorgeous Princess Angelique arrived with a large smug smirk on her face.

"Come Xipe! You and I can rule the world with our evilness and power! Mu ha ha ha ha!" she grinned.

"When you laugh- that is hot. Dear Leviathan why does the demon part of me suddenly want to fu-"

"PINHEAD! What about Kirsty?" Nikoletta gasped, surprised by this act of her Master.

"Eh...it should help pass the time for both sides of me." was all of the reply.

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><p><strong>Naughty Pinhead! Thus ElliotJoey and brief Angelique/Pinhead has occured. Poor Kirsty- yet another asylum to be sent to. :P**


	5. Sexy Naughty Bitchy Cenobites!

_**#5:**__ Angelique, Nikoletta, and Dreamer are feeling cocky today. How come? They've apparently decided to run about Hell singing about their sexy, naughty, bitchy selves..._

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><p><em><strong>Song Used: Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me- By Tata Young<strong>_

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><p>"Dear Leviathan, what are those females up to now?" Pinhead wondered aloud, questioning to the males in search of them while wandering about in Hell. It had been a while since the three women, Angelique, Female, and Dreamer seemed to have disappeared without much of a trace or a word.<p>

"Wait- do you hear that?" Pistonhead shushed suddenly, tense and causing the others to strain their ears (or something to that with Chatterer) when suddenly an obnoxious fart was heard instead.

_"Augh Pistonhead!" _Chatterer groaned, heavily annoyed and folding his arms as the piston headed Cenobite immediately erupted into laughter.

"You guys- are so disgusting." Butterball complained, frowning as several roars in argument were tossed at one another when three chimous voices were heard across, coming straight forth to the guys.

"Uh oh. This can't be any good shit." Pistonhead mumbled, taking a step back with Camerahead and Butterball following while Chatterer and Pinhead tensed.

"They cannot kill me off as simple as that!" Pinhead roared, mortified at the thought to it as Chatterer jumped behind Pinhead's back- apparently having something else to say so.

But with that, smug faced and grinning appeared Princess Angelique, Dreamer- the one technically considered Pistonhead's consort, and the Female Cenobite of the human name Nikoletta all came forward to the shivering guys, chuckling a bit mischieviously.

"Ah Angelique. My money is on either you want some love, cash, or to drag Pinhead away despite protest." Butterball laughed obnoxiously, making the princess glare at him.

(Yeah- the whole 'prank' gone bad where they actually did sleep with each other didn't end well. Quite frankly, their fighting had gotten even worse than a married couple or two human female admirers over Pinhead,)

"Nah. We just feelin' in some good mood today." Dreamer spoke instead, grinning as Pistonhead winked at her- but strangely she made no such reply.

"Brace yourselves boys." Nikoletta giggled, as the three then came to a position as though a rehearsed dance as she sang first:

_I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy_

Dreamer grinned and proceeded to follow in the same notes:

_Just like all my thoughts, they always get a bit naughty_

Angelique, who's smug smile became a wicked grin laughed and sang:

_When I'm out with my girls  
>I always play a bit bitchy<em>

The guys stared, gulping with some attempting to back away as the three women then with mental force had the door slam shut to keep them locked in as they then sang together, almost sounding alike:

_Can't change the way I am  
>Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me!<em>

As if in pattern, with an already fantasizing Chatterer swooned through as Nikoletta sang rather well despite her open larynx for the first verse of the mysterious all the male Cenobites were enticed to listening to- and a frightened Pistonhead who feared of something inappropriate and painful was to come to him from all but mostly Dreamer.

_**Nikoletta:**_

_I'm that kind of girl that girls don't like  
>I'm the kind that boys fantasize<br>I'm that kind that your momma and daddy  
>Were afraid you'd turn about to be like<em>

_I may seem unapproachable  
>But that's only to the boys who don't have the right<br>Approach or ride  
>That makes a girl like me<br>Wanna hop in and roll_

She giggled, along with the others following just to fele as though they were what they were supposed to do as Dreamer and a still smug grinning Angelique as they then sang together once again:

_**All**_

_People  
>Think it's intimidating<br>When a girl is cool with her sexuality  
>I'm a 180 to the stereotype<br>Girls who like staying home and being innocent_

_**Chorus!**_

_**Nikoletta**_

_I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy_

_**Dreamer**_

_Just like all my thoughts  
>They always get a bit naughty<em>

_**Angelique**_

_When I'm out with my girls  
>I always play a bit bitchy<em>

_**All**_

_Can't change the way I am  
>Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me!<em>

"My turn girls.." Dreamer whispered to them, dancing seductively close to a drooling and shaking Pistonhead, gesturing with her finger for him to come over to where he was, but just as he took a step forth, she swiftly and sharply turned around fiercely, causing her skirt to smack in his face and for Pistonhead to stumble and fall against the guys as Dreamer continued:

_**Dreamer**_

_My mouth never takes a holiday  
>I always shock with the things I say<br>I was always the kid in school  
>Who turned up<br>'Bout an hour late_

_And when it comes to the guys I lay  
>I'd always pick the ones<br>Who won't figure out I'm a rebel  
>To the idea of a monogamy<em>

_**All**_

_People  
>Think it's intimidating<br>When a girl is cool with her sexuality  
>I'm a 180 to stereotype girls<br>Who like staying home and being innocent_

_**Chorus Yay!**_

_**Nikoletta**_

_I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy_

_**Dreamer**_

_Just like all my thoughts  
>They always get a bit naughty<em>

_**Angelique**_

_When I'm out with my girls  
>I always play a bit bitchy<em>

_**All**_

_Can't change the way I am  
>Sex Naughty Bitchy Me!<em>

By then Angelique made herself appear as something to drool upon as she danced elegantly in a manner of something mixed of seduction and playful flirtyness that made Pinhead just stare and even Butterball to arch a brow- but not in that sort of matter. Rather, he was tempted to crack a joke to the princess just to throw her off the song and piss her off for fun.

_**Angelique**_

_Sexy, sexy, sexy  
>Naughty, naughty, naughty<br>Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy  
>me<br>x2_

_**All**_

_People  
>Think it's intimidating<br>When a girl is cool with her sexuality  
>I'm a 180 to stereotype girls<br>Who like staying home and being innocent_

_**Chorus**_

_**Nikoletta**_

_I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy_

_**Dreamer**_

_Just like all my thoughts  
>They always get a bit naughty<em>

_**Angelique**_

_When I'm out with my girls  
>I always play a bit bitchy<em>

_**All**_

_Can't change the way I am  
>Sexy naughty bitchy me!<em>

_"I think it's fair to say that by now the princess is up for her little solo. Dear Leviathan, I wish I had earplugs right now- oh wait. I don't have any! But wow Nikki looks hot when I can kinda hear her singing..." _Chatterer commented.

"I am so afraid to go to be tonight with Dreamer..." Pistonhead mumbled, looking rather paled as he backed farther towards a corner.

Butterball and Camerahead exchanged glances and just shrugged, unsure of what was up with him while Pinhead just...well...stared. What can I say? Poor pin guy was unsure of what to think of all this.

_**Angelique**_

_I like all my shorts to be a little too shorty  
>Unlike all my guys<br>I like them tall with money  
>I love all my nights to end a bit nasty<br>Can't change the way I am-_

_**All**_

_Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me!_

_**Nikoletta**_

_I pick...my skirts...to be...sexy_

_**Dreamer**_

_Just like...my thoughts...a bit...naughty_

_**Angelique**_

_When I'm...out with...my girls...bitchy_

_**All**_

_Can't change...I am_

_SEXY NAUGHTY BITCHY ME!_

When the song ended, all the girls were grinning proudly, heads held high as they then laughed in mock at the very looks of all the surprised boys, high fiving one another before walking off to leave to do something else (or possible repeat this song to annoy the living hell out of Merkova and her Lucky Six gang).

Finally, Pinhead was able to say something.

"Women..." he said, shaking his head before leaving to tend to things of what Kirsty may have been possibly up to.

He found her, within their bed chambers smirking seductively as she then hummed a small tune to herself that then became lyrics to a sudden song chorus line:

_Sticks and stones might break my bones  
>But chains and whips excite me<br>Na na na na come on!  
>Come on!<em>

"Uh oh..." Pinhead gulped, before she pulled him in the room and slammed the door shut.

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><p><strong>Oooh! Naughty Pinsty ending! XD The song Kirsty was singing was 'S&amp;M' by Rihanna. I HATE that song- but it fits for the Cenobites if you want to see the lyrics with their whole 'pain and pleasure' thingy.<strong>

**The whole 'naughty thoughts' seemed to fit Dreamer perfectly, 'sexy skirts' seemed to fit Nikoletta perfectly (LOL, I remember some friend of mine commenting she was hot. It was at such a random point when we were watching 'Hellraiser 2' so I just died of laughter.), and Angelique makes the perfect bitchy- well- bitch! XD XD XD**

**Any funny song requests for my one-shots? I'm all up for it!**


	6. Heatwave Chaos

_**#6:**__ A heatwave in hell causes tension to all. Random, stupid, diss fights ensue from cat fights to 'Yo Momma' jokes without a purpose. Oh, and annoying Pistonhead with his place being a gay bar..._

_Eh...this is kinda M rated for some suggestive conversations. But I don't wanna change the rating to this for T. Besides, in the beginning I said it was strong T- and we all have had the talk before, right? LOL. ;)_

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><p><em><strong>Part 1 to a 2 part one shot.<strong>_

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><p>"Augh Leviathan it's so HOT in here!" whined Angelique as she attempted to use her hands to fan herself.<p>

All the sweaty other Cenobites could agree, having worn black for the day like every other usual day, it was only worse for their misery.

Especially for Dreamer, Nikoletta, and Angelique. The three women were used to wearing black. When it became too hot to wear that, well...the end result was a wardrobe malfunction since none of them brought their human clothes with them.

And the end result to that was a violent riot of them, beating up Xipe Totec for having never giving them the chance to pack their things when they became Cenobites.

_"IT'S NOT MY FAULT. YOU FOOLS WERE THE ONES WHO USED UP ALL THE AVAILABLE MONEY IN HELL AT LAS VEGAS- BET IT- AND __**LOST!**__ AHEM, ESPECIALLY YOU __PISTONHEAD.__" _Leviathan defended, the diamond then having all eyes fall on the piston headed Cenobite who flushed and grinned.

"What can I say? Gambling is a fucking sin for me that's better than sex." he laughed nervously as Dreamer approached him in a seemingly seductive manner- and then slapped him, hard.

"Dammit you greedy asshole! Now there's no conditioning around this pile of shit place!" Dreamer growled furiously.

_"Somebody's on their week..." _Chatterer sang to the guys minds, nudging Butterball on the elbow as they all shared a soft giggle- to which Dreamer turned, glared, and frowned at them as charged up to Chatterer.

"Don't think I can't hear you! How would you know anyways? You perverted little whiny kid brat Cenobite badass wannabe!" she growled.

Nikoletta jumped at Dreamer and wrestled her to the ground.

"Bitch! Don't talk about my man like that!" she growled as the two girls wrestled to the ground and rolled about.

Pistonhead hung his tongue and stared wide eyed, drooling riduclously.

"This is better than sex!" he roared happily.

Butterball furrowed his brow and gawked, part annoyed and part confused.

"Dude...you say you're a sex addict, yet every other thing not involving sex is better. What. The. Hell?" the obese Cenobite finally spoke about the annoying catch pharse Pistonhead said.

Barbie, CD, Chatterer, Channard, and Surgeon all shrugged and looked up, having noticed that was true but never really noticed before.

Pistonhead flushed, angered that someone embarassed him and laughed snarkily.

"Well...well...at least I can get laid!" he retorted, as th others admittedly said 'OOoooh' like a crowd.

Butterball just rolled his eyes- wait he's got eyes? When the HELL did that happen? Get it? Pun? Intended one that's repeatedly used just to make you all groan annoyed while I just sit back and laugh.

"Please man, by the same girl nowadays. Technically, I had sex with the _princess_ of Hell. The closest you'll ever get to that is if you put a tiara on the Chatterbeast when you rape him every night behind Dreamer's back." Butterball dissed, making everyone guy jaw drop. No one really figured Butterball was _that_ good at dissing...

Pistonhead was silent for a moment, lowering his head down in shame and embarassment when he snapped it back up and grinned sadistcally.

"Why would I want to rape your mom Butterball?" the piston headed Cenobite retorted.

"'Cause obviously your mom was too easy and you failed to satisfy her." the obese Cenobite grinned.

There were gasps of surprise and a mutter of 'that was low' from Channard.

Pistonhead heard that and used that.

"Low? You mean like how Butterball so fat he can't bend down low at all?" he mocked.

"No low like how you never get that far enough for Dreamer." Butterball teased.

More 'oohs' and 'aah's ensued from the crowd of guys, well what was left. Most of the others just continued to stare, drool, and think inappropriately of the still fighting and tumbling Cenobite women, to which Dreamer was starting to win as she pinned Nikoletta painfully down on the ground.

"YO MOM!" Pistonhead yelled.

"YO MOTHA!" Butterball replied back as loudly.

"Yo momma's so ugly she gives Freddy Kruger nightmares!" Pistonhead eagerly began, laughing.

POOF! At random moment, Freddy Kruger himself appeared, frowning unhappily and glaring at Pistonhead before sniggering mischieviously.

"See you in your dreams, pissyhead." the burnt child killer snickered before poofing away mysteriously.

Pistonhead paled nervously as Butterball spoke.

"Yo momma's so stupid she jumped up in the air and got stuck." Butterball dissed.

"Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry." Pistonhead replied.

"That's old- like yo mother! Yo momma's so old her social security number is 3!" Butterball laughed.

"Oh, well in that case yo mother's so old she knew Burger King back when he was prince!" Pistonhead yelled.

"Yo momma's so fat when she went swimming in the ocean the pilgrims shouted 'LAND!'" Butterball shouted.

"YO MOMMA'S-" both males began to say.

"ENOUGH!" Pinhead roared, as he had started to get a headache from their nonsense.

"You two immature fools and your nonsense and pointless insults about one another's mother is giving me an aincreasingly annoying headache! Silence or I'll rip your tongues out!" the pin headed Cenobite threatened.

At the same time, there were several screeches heard, as Nikoletta slapped Dreamer hard in the face, leaving her crumpled on the ground in pain as the open throat Cenobite grinned victoriously.

"Who's next?" she giggled, as all the guys piled behind Chatterer.

"I thought so..." Nikoletta laughed.

"I'm melting!" Angelique compained with the increasing heat.

"Stop plagirising movies, princess! Dammit!" Pinhead groaned.

"Stop talking! It's making it hotter in here!" Channard whined.

_"And we're not finished with you! I'm still pissed about you kicking my ass and hurting my Nikki!" _Chatterer accused, poking Channard in the chest as he stared.

"Nikki?" he repeated, dryly and in mock.

"Charge!" Pinhead yelled, as he, Butterball, Chatterer, and Nikoletta all piled on Channard and wrestled him to the ground as the beated him up for what was an overdue revenge.

Angelique just stood there and slapped her forehead.

"Stop screaming! It's making it hotter in here!" Pistonhead repeated, stamping his foot.

_"THAT'S IT. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. PISTONHEAD, I NEVER EVER LIKED YOU. BECAUSE ADMITTEDLY, I THINK DREAMER IS HOT...AND SO IS NIKOLETTA...AND ANGELIQUE..AND I HAD A COUPLE OF INAPPROPRIATE DREAMS ABOUT KIRSTY ONCE- BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS- I DON'T LIKE YOU FOR HAVING DREAMER SO I'M JUST GONNA RANDOMLY FIRE YOU." _Leviathan confessed.

Pistonhead gasped, confused and hurt before grinning sadistically.

"Fine...you realize I'm the only one with a real business that still makes cash?" he questioned, an arched brow.

"What? That gay bar of yours?" Channard questioned as he groaned painfully and loudly from an angry Nikoletta hitting him in the...unementionables.

"IT'S NOT A GAY BAR!" Pistonhead roared, turning beet red as Dreamer giggled.

_"FINE YOU AND YOUR GAY BAR CAN STAY." _Leviathan sighed.

"IT'S NOT. A. FUCKING. GAY. BAR!" Pistonhead growled, stamping his foot.

"You realize you're getting into a fight with an oversized engagement ring, right?" Barbie questioned at the same time with flames coming out of his mouth unintentionally.

_"HEY!" _Leviathan gasped, hurt by that comment.

At the same time, when Barbie had spoken, some of his flames landed nearby on CD's head, burning a CD on his head.

"NO!" the CD Cenobite shrieked in horror, having earlier before through heavy convincing to Leviathan was able to have his voice back.

He grabbed the CD, attempted to blow on it to take the flames out- but it was too late. The CD was burned to charrds.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not my Justin Bieber CD!" CD shrieked in horror, getting on his knees and sobbing.

_"WHAT'S WITH YOU PEOPLE BECOMING SO UNMANLY? I HIRED YOU ALL FOR BEING BADASS, SCARY CENOBITES AND NOW YOU ALL LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF WHIMPS! FIRST MY OWN SON XIPE WATCHES TITANIC AND CRIES! NOW APPARENTLY I'VE GOT A BIEBER FEVERED INFECTED CENOBITE AMONGST THIS GROUP! ARGH! GREAT! JUST GREAT!" _Leviathan complained, while the others al froze and folded their arms.

"Dude. You never hired us. We just all opened the box." Channard stated as CD continued to mourn over his fallen favored CD, before getting on his knees and snapping his head straight towards a nervous Barbie and glared.

"YOU! If you burn my Whitney Houston CD I'm gonna kick your ASS!" he threatened, as Barbie then eeped and backed away quickly towards the wall in panic.

For some random reason, it then became deathly quiet.

And then for some other random reason, everyone then broke out into a wild fight, with everyone at each other's throats hell! Even Leviathan was participating!

At that very moment, Xipe's girlfriend, Kirsty Cotton walked in for a visit- making everyone freeze while in locked of one another's necks as Pinhead broke away from that group and grinned nervously.

"Kirsty! Heh, heh, my sweet child. What a surprise to see you." he said nervously, giggling nervously.

Kirsty raised a brow, glancing over to her female friends, whom all grinned nervously as well and waved while Leviathan seemed to sulk away from the group.

"Man it's hot in here! Why the hell aren't you guys at the beach yet? C'mon!" the brunette human beauty smiled.

Everyone just gawked like she just found out the sky is blue.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

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><p><strong>LOL This is one of my most favorite- and inappropriate- one-shots yet. Poor Pistonhead- The Boiler Room's not a gay bar...XD XD XD XD<strong>


	7. Beach Bums And Surprise!

_**#7: **__So our Cenobite friends have decided to take up on Kirsty's offer and are now at the beach. WARNING!: Hilarity included such as Pinhead's out of style swim trunks, Butterball's inability to swim, awkward CPR, an unexpected proposal, and a VERY drunk and wasted Pistonhead._

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><p><em><strong>We can go anywhere from there...<strong>_

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><p>"I refuse to exit!" Pinhead stubbornly told as he cowered in the men's restroom, as the other male Cenobites groaned.<p>

Earlier before they had decided to take up on Kirsty's offer and went to the beach with her, and several other human friends which included Tiffany, Steve, and Joey- the girlfriend of Elliot. It's kind of awkward for Pinhead, being that HE likes Kirsty but ELLIOT likes Joey. So...wouldn't that technically count as a love square? Wait- what the hell is it when you throw in Angelique lusting after Pinhead?

"Aw c'mon you little priss. Show some of that manlyhood to your girl out there man." Pistonhead groaned, calling out in encouragement. He and the others were already in their bathing suits or bailed out in embarassment such as Surgeon and Channard- since they didn't have the whole Hollister beach boy bodies...or the _Twilight _Taylor Lautner abs. Pistonhead was rather eager, having still a rather muscular build that was actually attractive...if it weren't for the clanging pistons lodged through his skull and his obnoxious douche bag personality 65% to 75% to over 9000% of the time.

"I will not be exposing myself with such insane fashion for a nonsense occassion within the public of humanity!" Pinhead retorted, remaining firm.

Chatterer groaned, or did something of that in his clicks as he face palmed his forehead. He had trunks on, but kept himself robed, refusing to show anyone what he looked like until they got there.

"Goodness Xipe, I. AM. DYING. OF. HEAT. EXHAUSTION!" Angelique shrieked, growing more and more frustrated as she only sweated more and more. Her beautiful body was something for all to die for with those curves, but right now Angelique could care anyless what she had right now.

"Too bad for you!" was all of Xipe's reply, as the demon princess shrieked in fury, kicking the door in an unsuccessful attempt to take the door down and only injuried her foot.

_'We already tried that princess. He used chains to barge the door shut.' _Chatterer explained, his tone as annoyed and frustrated as Angelique's groans were.

"Aw...did princess biatch get a booboo?" Butterball coed sarcastically, grinning as the princess shrieked again an flipped the bird at the only Cenobite who didn't really want to go swimming. (Ever since watching _Titanic,_ Butterball came up with revelations and theories that if he were to swim far out enough, he would crash into an iceberg and sink right next by to the remains of the shipwreck itself.)

Or, in other words, he didn't even know how to swim.

"C'mon! I wanna go!" Dreamer whined, stamping her foot as the heat increased. Pistonhead glanced over to her, flushing at how lovely she looked and strangely turned away.

"Awkward." Butterball sang noticing how suddenly nervous Pistonhead became.

"Pinny-Poo." Kirsty pleaded for him to come out, but not even she surprisingly could convince him to come out of the bathroom.

All that did was almost kill Pistonhead from laughter at the little nickname for his boss.

"Xipe, we aren't getting any paler you know, Kirsty isn't getting any younger, and the ozone layer is only getting worse, therefore causing worsers heatwaves to us, and having the oceans disolve into nothing!" Nikoletta cried as well.

Pinhead, from the other side, had a face on of mockery, disturbance, and confusion.

"Psh. Great. Whatever you say you little weird hippy Cenobite." he simply said, rolling his eyes. Nikoletta frowned, insulted by that as Pistonhead admittedly sniggered a bit by that.

But that steamed Chatterer enough alright!

_'THAT'S IT! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY GIRL LIKE THAT!' _he yelled angrily into everyone's minds, backing up against the other wall before charging like an angry train as he bashed the door down despite the hundred of chains Pinhead had summoned to keep the door shut.

Chatterer froze at the sight of his Master, and when the others peeked their heads through to see- they almost all died of the sight!

Pinhead, in an old early 19th century one piece bathing suit! A bright red color, that showed...well...a bit too much. But not bad enough to blind Butterball. (Ha ha! Get it? He's blind...eh...oh...forget you.)

Despite being bone white pale, Pinhead flushed as red as a bright tomato.

"St- stop it! I'll have you now this was considered TRUE fashion ware in my day." the pin headed Cenobite defended as he flushed even more.

Pistonhead, who gasped for air in between laughs looked up in teary eyed.

"BWAH HA HA HA HA! Don- don't forget yer...yer..corset PINNY! BWA HA HA!" he screamed, making the others erupt in roaring laughter. Even Leviathan was laughing from a whole other room!

Pinhead only frowned, groaning as he grit his teeth and narrowed his dark eyes.

"Let's just go the beach and get this over with." he said lowly as he grabbed for Kirsty's hand and started to walk off.

But not before Leviathan had some interesting things to say to the others,

_"NOT SO FAST YOU ALL. I STILL HAVEN'T LEARN TO TRUST YOU AGAIN AFTER THE VEGAS INCIDENT. SO, THEREFORE, I HAVE A SET OF RULES FOR YOU TO FOLLOW." _the huge diamond spoke abruptly, making everyone groan.

"Shoot me engagement ring." Pistonhead muttered sarcastically.

If Leviathan had eyes, they would've been glaring straight into Pistonhead's soul.

_"RULE NUMBER ONE: I WANT YOU ALL HOME HERE AT EIGHT THIRTY. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT. SECONDLY, __**NO**__ ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ALLOWED- IF I FIND OUT ANY OF YOU CAME HOME WASTED THEN SO HELP ME I SHALL PUNISH YOU ULTIMATELY. THIRDLY, DON'T LET ANY OF YOU DIE. IF YOU SEE A SHARK, ICEBERG, OR EDWARD CULLEN IN THE WATER- GET OUT." _he explained.

The others just stared blankly, exchanging glances to one another when mentioning the 'Edward Cullen' part as Dreamer sighed.

"He read the _Twilight _series and learned to dislike Edward after Bella chose him over Jacob. He hasn't stopped having violent dreams of getting rid of the vampire since then." she said, annoyed with headaches of constantly seeing those dreams from him.

"Damn. He's a vampire? I thought that he was a sparkly, gay fairy." Pistonhead shrugged in comment.

"GASP! She choses Edward! Don't spoil itttttttt!" Pinhead whined rather loudly, as everyone stared blankly at him.

"Let's just get this over with." Nikoletta said, shaking her head in disbelief to this.

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><p><em>3 Hours Later<em>

"Stupid Highway to Hell traffic...stupid ACDC...stupid Pistonhead easily getting bored in the car resulting in sex with Dreamer right in front of my view mirror...stupid CD's iSpy game...I hate the SUN!" Pinhead complained, having been the stressed out one to drive the car. Why? Well, Chatterer never got a license, neither did Dreamer, Pistonhead was obnoxious to the cops and lost his long ago, Nikoletta didn't know how to drive, Butterball is a horrible speeder, CD was still blind. Can't have a blind guy drive now, can we?

"Albino alert." Pistonhead grinned as he attempted to flex his muscles.

"Eeeeeew." Nikoletta and Butterball jokingly laughed to one another at that sight, pretending to get sick as he did that.

"F.U." he grunted, flipping the bird as girls from nearby out or far went goo goo eyes over him, and especially Pinhead.

One even had the nerves to seductively walk up to our pin headed friend and ask if he wanted to help her and her friends in building a sand castle.

Therefore, resulting in a violent Kirsty chasing after her with a bucket and shovel she was able to turn into a weapon.

"Uh...Xipe. I think you're teaching her _too_ much of our techniques." Nikoletta informed, staring wide eyed as Kirsty actually managed to start a bloodbath within thirty seconds- quite the record there.

"Ugh, this sunscreen is insulting to women everywhere." Angelique gasped in mock, holding the bottle of sunscreen that had the picture of the little girl getting her shorts pulled down by the dog.

"Then don't wear it." Dreamer simply and dryly said as she laid out in the sand to get tanned and dream again.

"FINE! I won't!" the demon princess huffed as she tossed away the sunscreen and simply rested down on her towel. Butterball silently sniggered, knowing what the sun would do to her bone white pale skin. But in the meanwhile, three pretty blond women suddenly approached Pistonhead.

"Hi there.." one giggled, almost innocently.

He looked up, grinning. "Ladies." he said, though there was a twinge in the back of his mind that they were familiar.

"Um...we were wondering if you could totally help us bury someone in the sand." the other sweetly said, purring as she stretched her long legs out in view for Pistonhead to drool over. Which he did, and opened his mouth to speak when he turned to notice Dreamer sigh at some point as she rested peacefully, and strangely, so out of character for him to do around women...he went hesitant.

"Well...I..uh.." he started to say, in the tone distaning to a 'no', but they gave him no time to answer as all three grabbed him off to a hole they had already dug, grinning wickedly as they insisted he go straight into the hole.

"So wait...what are we doing?" Pistonhead questioned confused.

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><p><em>Meanwhile<em>

"MY SKIN!" Angelique shrieked in horror, burning at the pain of her lobster red, burnt skin while Butterball earlier before asked for some butter at the nearby snack bar, and threw it in her face while she slept, then unaware of her red skin.

"BUTTERBALL I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!" the princess angrily yelled, chasing after our fat, adorable friend when suddenly he ran straight for the water and pretty far out before it hit him.

"Oh wait a minute...I can't swim." he realized, and then sank under before yelling for help.

Kirsty and Pinhead had been unaware, as they were busy snuggling up to one another under the shaded umbrella when Pinhead barely looked up.

"Oh cool...a whale." he commented, making Kirsty look over to see and gasp.

"Pinny-poo! That's not a whale! It's BB! He's drowning!" she gasped in panic.

_'Oh my Leviathan! Someone save him! Superman! Batman! I don't give a f-'_

"HELP ME FIRST!" Pistonhead cut off Chatterer as in the distance, it was revealed HE was the one that got buried. Apparently, the three blonds were angry at him, having been previous one night stand hookers for him that weren't too happy about being used.

"I'M DYING!" Butterball called out, shocked that Pistonhead expected the others to help him first.

"TOO BAD!" Pistonhead replied.

Pinhead was still feeling lazy as he simply waved his hand and shrugged. "Eh...just do a barrel roll Butterball!" he simply called out.

"WHAT?" the fat cenobite cried out in disbelief.

_'That's it you lazyass morons! FINE! I'LL save him!' _Chatterer groaned, still not showing anybody at all anything under his cover up as he went after his obese friend, only to come back with a limp Butterball.

_'Uh...I don't think he's breathing.' _Chatterer remarked nervously.

At that moment, he then ran to Nikoletta, scooped her in his arms and proceeded to run off and hide at the nearby beach bar.

"SUCKERS! We're SO not doing mouth to mouth with him!" she laughed wickedly.

Everyone then looked at Dreamer, but she was still sound asleep.

Everyone then looked at Pistonhead, but he was still whining as he was buried in the sand aswell.

Everyone then looked at CD, but he shrugged. Having sharp edged CD's all over his face probably wouldn't go so well to that anyways.

Everyone then looked at Kirsty, all about to ask before Pinhead interrupted.

"Hell no! Kirsty is MY precious delicate human, and I refuse to let her met lips to anyone else!" he said.

And with that, CD crossed his arms and frowned.

"Then why don't YOU give him mouth to mouth?" he inquired.

Pinhead flushed, shuffling his feet awkwardly as he finally made an excuse.

"Uh...my pins might poke him."

And with that, all eyes fell on our sun burned princess, who stared up, unaware of what had happened as she looked.

"Why are you staring at me?"

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><p><em>SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER<em>

"I got to french kiss the princess! I got to french kiss the princess! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Butterball sang gloriously and victoriously, but rather in mock as Angelique unleashed all her fury of hell by chasing after him with several weapons in her hands.

"YOU LITTLE WEASLY BASTARD! I ATTEMPT TO RESISTATE YOU AFTER BEING PAID A HIGH AMOUNT OF CASH AND HEAVY STERN LOOKS OF CONVINCING ONLY TO HAVE YOU PROCEEDINGLY DEEPEN THAT AS THOUGH YOU CONSIDERED IT A KISS! I'M GONNA CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT AND STAB A BAZILLION TIMES!" Angelique screamed at the top of her lungs as she chased after him.

"Bazillion is not a number." CD dryly pointed out obnoxiously.

"******* you ******** little ******* half witted ******** mother ********!" was Angelique's response, in words so dirty that they indeed had to be censored.

In the meanwhile, Chatterer and Pinhead decided to help Pistonhead out of the sand, who grumbled that he needed a drink and would only be a few minutes.

Well, unless if Pistonhead is currently in the movie _Inception_ where time is pretty screwed up for an hour equaling a few minutes, then he was gone for more than a few minutes.

Suddenly, our piston headed friend approached the rest of the group, stumbling about with a slurpy grin spread wide on his face as the bartender angrily yelled unmentionable things- the basic meaning to it was that he was indeed banished from that beach bar for doing...well...something I guess. It's Pistonhead, what do you expect?

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday Pinny Boy!" he bursted out at random point, swinging about before he fell straight on the ground and looked straight at Dreamer, whom had jumped awake.

"Dreamy!" he exclaimed happily while Dreamer just stared, surprised and wide eyed.

"Wa happen to yer hair? I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiked it! Eh, es bootiful still." he admitted, while Dreamer was about to slap him when he then said.

"I lurve you Terri Madison." he smiled, but it was something rare for him to call her by her real name. Better yet- he had never said 'I love you' to her before!

"You- you what?" she gasped.

"I think I just died inside." Angelique commented dryly and obnoxiously. Obviously, she was bored and being sarcastic.

"So uh...erm...kinda wasted...tee hee...*hic*...but...*hic*..." Pistonhead rummaged through his pockets, with the others expecting him to do something stupid when suddenly- oh my!

He pulled out a beautiful, diamond ring that shimmered as the sun beat down on it.

"...Will ya...wil...*hic*..will...wil...I wuz wonderin'...uh *hic*...Terri Madison, you awe dee most bootiful woman EVAH, *hic* and I got so nervous to...to...to tell you this so I accidentally *hic* got a little *hic* tipsy...but.." the formerly addressed JP Munroe cleared his throat, trying to sound as clear as possible when he said:

"Will you marry me?"

Everyone else widened their eyes, having never seen this coming as all eyes turned to a surprise Dreamer, waiting for the response.

She opened her mouth for an answer...

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><p>TO BE CONTINUED<p>

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><p><strong>HA! Evil cliffy! Bet ya didn't see that coming! And I lied...this is a three part one shot with the whole beach thing! XD XD XD XD Will Terri say yes? Will Angelique get revenge on BB? Tune in next time! XD<strong>


End file.
